No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize