I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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