bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do herpes really smell.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
