My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
