is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
