Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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