my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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