If that was your dad, he is hot
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
