She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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