he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
