I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you would pick up someone in the library
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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