trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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