i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
