Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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