alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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