So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
