Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She told me I should be a condom model.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
