K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I look better un-naked...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
