So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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