Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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