He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
