The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize