Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Enjoy the penises
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
