I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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