I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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