yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
