You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
