my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I did not marry a roomba.
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