Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
