The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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