i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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