Small penises have feelings too.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
