I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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