u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
