Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
