Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
