"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
