the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
