She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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