??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
