I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
