how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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