theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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