Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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