I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
