Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
