I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
