what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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