If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
