I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
