I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
