Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
