she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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