Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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