are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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