I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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