you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
