you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
