I look better un-naked...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Boobs speak an international language.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
