I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
