We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
