why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
