please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
