Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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