we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's blow job season.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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